All You Can Cheat
A TV cookery programme has landed itself in hot water - fuck me, I'm good - for fleecing punters who voted in a competition they had no hope of winning. I watched the programme, and if I remember rightly the question was something like:
Wholegrain, Dijon and English are all types of:
A. Mayonnaise
B. Mustard
C. Meringue
The phone calls cost 25p a minute and the prize was a chance to appear on the following week's show. Big fucking whoop. Frankly, if you're the kind of person who'd pay money to get up early on a Saturday morning to go and sit at a table and say "Mmmm, that's delicious, the lemon really counteracts the richness of the duck", then you are a sushi-grade cunt who deserves to be lightly poached in a broth made from your own entrails.
(By the way, my American friends, the answer is B, mustard. It's the yellow stuff they put on hot dogs.)
Wholegrain, Dijon and English are all types of:
A. Mayonnaise
B. Mustard
C. Meringue
The phone calls cost 25p a minute and the prize was a chance to appear on the following week's show. Big fucking whoop. Frankly, if you're the kind of person who'd pay money to get up early on a Saturday morning to go and sit at a table and say "Mmmm, that's delicious, the lemon really counteracts the richness of the duck", then you are a sushi-grade cunt who deserves to be lightly poached in a broth made from your own entrails.
(By the way, my American friends, the answer is B, mustard. It's the yellow stuff they put on hot dogs.)
posted by hungbunny at 8:58 pm
8 Comments:
Coming soon to a shop near you: Wholegrain Meringue.
In America, we like our mayonnaise all full of grains and stuff. Mustard, on the other hand, being fat-free, is something we of course do not have at all. Exotic!
I put wholegrain meringue on my hot-dog to help cool it when it gets too raw from tight buns.
I made the meringue bit up, I think. It could have been melons or Marmite.
my American friends
You have friends? Why have a blog, then?
Mayonnaise with grains and stuff in it? What the fuck is with that?
Oil, egg yolk, lemon juice, vinegar, salt and pepper - isn't that mayonnaise?
Sushi-grade cunt? Mmmm, sounds delicious... I'll have mine with lashings of wasabi.
Foot Eater: I ask myself the same question on a daily basis.
Jair: they eat things called grits over there - 'nuff said.
Tomla: be careful, an expert will need to remove all the poisonous bits first.
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