Spastic Surgeons
My back operation has been postponed for the third time. I showed up at the hospital yesterday morning, signed the consent form, put on the plastic bracelets, got shown to my bed, unpacked my stuff, and then - after seven hours with no food or drink - was told my MRI scans had been archived somewhere and couldn't be found.
I was furious and relieved in equal measures. Before I signed the consent form a doctor had informed me of the risks involved. Previously I'd been led to believe there was a 1 in 10,000 chance of paralysis and "loss of sexual function", but yesterday the odds had shortened to 1 in 500. I'm seriously reconsidering whether it's worth the gamble. I mean, would you put your gonads into the hands of people who can't even file things properly?
I was furious and relieved in equal measures. Before I signed the consent form a doctor had informed me of the risks involved. Previously I'd been led to believe there was a 1 in 10,000 chance of paralysis and "loss of sexual function", but yesterday the odds had shortened to 1 in 500. I'm seriously reconsidering whether it's worth the gamble. I mean, would you put your gonads into the hands of people who can't even file things properly?
posted by hungbunny at 3:11 pm
18 Comments:
Hmmm.... that's a pretty sharp deterioration of your odds there. Possibly try reducing it a further 499 times to take into account the complete lack of organisation, competency, humanity and care and I think you'll have an ever more realistic picture. (Forgive me Mr Foot...)
On the plus side, 7 hours without beer gives you a sizeable credit for the rest of the week.
You shoulda come to me, I get you cheaper.
The fuckers have pushed my tooth removal out until the end of the month, wankers. Not a great comparison but I have to get my few cents in.
keywords: surgeon, sexual function, hands, file, shortened
I can't wait for socialized medicine in the US, it sounds lovely.
It's pretty much the same; most of the time they don't kill you, sometimes they do, but either way, there isn't an enormous bill.
HB, isn't pondering your risk of sexual dysfunction a little philosophical? You know, angels on the head of a pin, and all that?
That's exactly what I was thinking! hehehe
I heard you have survived! Is it true?
It's true!
Thank god, I haven't yet secured my place in the will..
You heard right - wanna see my gash?
Blanket stitch.
Nice wound, don't let it go gammy. as for the loss of sexual function, just move to the highlands!
I've put my gonads into the hands of people who do filing.
are you dead, or what?
I'm alive, but this blog is looking pretty terminal...
I can't believe you've actually stuck it out this long without caving and posting.
(btw, phones broken)
What's amazing is that I've resisted the temptation to delete it.
Did you leave it in the washing machine?
Well I'm very impressed with your urge control.
No this time it actually broke. Didn't require par-boiling or tumble-drying or anything like that.
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